Breaking the Silence

So many times, those of us with chronic health issues suffer in silence. I know, I did—for far too long! Those I told reacted in ways that wasn’t helpful, limiting my freedom, or even worse, shutting me out altogether. It’s a tough road to walk. But I’m so encouraged that many of us are starting to speak up and speak out (myself included!)

That’s why I’m thrilled to have KidLit author, Becky Walker, with me today as she breaks her silence about chronic illness. Welcome Becky! 

---

First of all, congratulations on the upcoming publication of your debut picture book! That is no small task … Can you tell us a little bit about it?

I am so excited about my debut picture book, FRASER AND HENRY GROW A FRIEND. It’s scheduled for release in the summer of 2027 with Charlesbridge Publishing.

Here’s the premise of the story: After being uprooted from the city and transplanted to the country, Fraser longs to make new friends, but hay bales are the only things in sight. When Fraser discovers magical friendship seeds, he plants and nurtures them with the help of Henry, a local boy, who also wants to grow a friend. But after months of caring for the seedlings and waiting for a human friend to sprout, the boys harvest their crops only to find carrots and beets – the seeds are duds. Fraser will have to look closer to recognize what blossomed while he wasn’t looking — it just needed a little time.

Oh, I love stories about seeds—and the imagery of growing friendship works so well. I can’t wait to read it! Tell me a little bit about your writing process.

More often than not, my stories start with a title that pops into my head. Frequently, stories come to me after I’ve dreamed them from start to finish. Weird, I know! Other story ideas come to me after watching a funny GIF or reel. They all stem from emotions I have personally experienced. For example, during the pandemic, I wrote many friendship stories because I longed to have friends who understood what I was going through and friends who cared enough to follow the safety measures needed to spend time with me like meet outdoors, wear a mask indoors, test for COVID if feeling unwell or if you’ve been flying or out and about without a mask. It sounds simple, but you would be surprised.

I wrote many friendship stories because I longed to have friends who understood what I was going through…

Once I have an idea, it nags at me relentlessly until I get it down. I paginate from the very first draft. Then I read it over and over, but it usually doesn’t change much. Then it goes through two fantastic critique groups who throw magic at it. I revise it, but not immediately. I consider the suggestions and see which ones align with my vision for the story. Then I go over every word. Is it the best word choice? Where can I cut words? What fun read-aloud elements can be added, like onomatopoeia or repetition?

When I get to this stage, I send the manuscript immediately to my agent. I sent one picture book to my agent at 4 pm, and it was out on submission the next morning with zero edits. That’s rare. My last three manuscripts I submitted needed word count cuts. While my subs are out, I write a lot, critique my critique partners, read a ton, attend every webinar I can afford, try to get more social media followers, promote other authors, host an author’s blog on my website, take marketing webinars, visit bookstores in my area and introduce myself as I’m buying books, and join Discords, Slacks, writer groups, and reader groups. 

I also own and create items for my online gift store, called Giggles and Goods Store. It’s a lot, but as a former elementary teacher, I’m accustomed to doing a lot.

That IS a lot to keep up with! I’m so glad you found a way to turn your own experience into something that will help kids. You mentioned the need to be extra cautious during the pandemic. Could you tell us a little bit more about that? How has it impacted writing?

In a weird turn of events, having three autoimmune diseases (rheumatoid arthritis, Sjogren’s Disease, and fibromyalgia) during the pandemic sparked my new writing career.

I have dealt with rheumatoid arthritis since college, but my RA caused me to get pulmonary hypertension right at the time of the pandemic. Pulmonary hypertension caused my oxygen levels to be very low. Because of this, my cardiologist, pulmonologist, and rheumatologist advised me to isolate myself from others, except for my husband, who was working from home and wearing a double mask. No restaurants. No family Christmas. No game nights. I had to say no to everything. This isolation went on for a few years.

Being an optimist, I thought, finally, I have time to do what I’ve always been too busy or too distracted to do – become an author, a lifelong dream of mine.

Writing saved my life, literally. I dove in headfirst and took online picture book classes, such as Children’s Book Academy, Storytellers Academy, and Writing Barn, among others. I watched writing YouTube videos, joined critique groups, read every picture book I could put on hold, participated in Twitter pitch contests, and queried my heart out. My new writer friends became my new social group because we could interact online and on Zoom.

Before the pandemic, I didn’t know what a query letter was. I had never used Google Docs. I didn’t even know you needed an agent or what the typical word count was for a picture book. I knew nothing except that I loved writing; I competed and lettered in UIL writing contests and was the editor of my high school newspaper. Now, I have a picture book deal, an agent, and have multiple manuscripts out on sub. 

As awful as the pandemic and isolation were, they gave me the gift of time to focus on my dream.

As awful as the pandemic and isolation were, they gave me the gift of time to focus on my dream. I don’t know what I would’ve done without writing during that awful period of isolation.

I hear that from so many writers and artists—how they are able to turn pain into something beautiful. What advice would you give to creators who are struggling to find that balance between health and writing?

It’s a challenge when you’re working with a body that requires care, but your creative spirit wants to thrive. Here are a few practical and empowering tips to help you keep writing.

1. Honor Your Body First

Your health should take precedent over writing. Always. Never feel guilty that you’re not writing due to a doctor’s appointment or because you don’t feel well. Resting is part of the writing process. Read during your writing breaks or do the other writer’s obligatory tasks, such as posting on social media. Listen to what your body needs and honor that.

2. Write in Micro Sessions. 

Write in short 10-20 bursts when energy allows. That’s what I’m doing for this blog article. I wrote some while waiting for a hair appointment, and now I’m writing this section after cleaning the house while resting. Keep a notepad, voice app, or phone nearby to capture ideas as they come. I use my phone’s notes app all the time.

One night at 3 am, I awoke laughing. I had dreamed a funny picture book from start to finish. So I grabbed my phone and wrote an entire picture book on my Notes app under the covers like a tent so my light wouldn’t wake up my husband. That manuscript is out on sub now!

Keep a notepad, voice app, or phone nearby to capture ideas as they come.

3. Set Flexible Goals. 

I’m the worst at this. I have a running list of things to do, and when I don’t get my list crossed off by the end of the day, it drives me crazy! But I’m learning that it will be there tomorrow. Life and health often get in the way, and that’s just how it is. When I review revisions or write a new picture book, I think I should be able to complete that task by the end of the day. Now, I give myself a week or two to give myself some room for health issues.

One of the main things that gets in the way of accomplishing a self-imposed deadline is doctors’ appointments. All my doctors are located downtown in the Houston Medical District, so when I have an appointment, it’s an hour’s drive there and an hour back. The doctors are all specialists, so the wait is long, and appointments often result in additional appointments, such as MRIs, blood draws, X-rays, and ultrasounds. Now, I mark the whole day as unavailable. I’ll do critiques for my critique partners in the car on the way there and back and complete those tasks so I can focus on my work the next day.

Often, when I hurry to get something turned into my agent, I think, ‘Why did I rush that to him when waiting is the name of the game in publishing?’ Hurry up to wait.

4. Make Your Writing Space Comfortable. 

Making my writing space comfortable is a huge priority for me, as my body hurts 24/7. I often write on my laptop lying down. I’m doing that now, typing this. Pillows prop up my back, but my neck is starting to hurt, so I’ll switch to a different spot soon. I like sitting on our couch because it’s extra soft, so I use a lap desk there.

My office is upstairs, which is not optimal because on some days, the thought of climbing a steep staircase is more than I can handle. Every step sends pain from my back to my hip, down my thigh, and to my knees. Some days, I need the bigger monitor or the Zoom camera, so I battle the stairs.

The funniest place I write because it’s so comfortable is the passenger seat in my husband’s car. For whatever reason, the seat hits me just right, AND it has a seat warmer which feels heavenly on my aching joints. Every morning, we go for our morning drink (they know us by name at Whataburger!). When we return home, my husband gets out of the car and leaves it running while I work on writing things. First, I blog about my Instagram reel of the day, featuring a new picture book recommendation. Then, I grab my laptop and do some writing while sitting in my car in the driveway, waving to dog walkers and watching the neighborhood happenings. I know my neighbors think I’ve lost my mind, but it’s so quiet, and the seat feels so good. My husband is a big but wonderful distraction. He still doesn’t understand that every time he stops by to chat, it takes me out of what I’m working on. But outside in the car, I’m in a sanctuary and out of sight, out of mind. I don’t stay out there too long—just a quick writing spurt to get the day off right.

5. Surround Yourself with Others Who Understand.

I cannot stress how important a support group is to your state of mind. I am part of a critique group with two other individuals who also live with chronic illnesses. Their support and understanding have meant everything to me on this journey! We not only share our publishing struggles, but also our health battles. It’s a safe place to vent about our struggles and celebrate our successes!

I love that you have found a community of support within the larger KidLit community. That is so important! Anything else you’d like to add?

I have been silent about my health struggles for 30-plus years. I didn’t tell anyone about my diseases except my immediate family and a few close friends. I thought people would think of me as weak or unwell, so I battled in silence. I pretended to be perfectly fine. When I finally had to tell everyone why I couldn’t see them during the pandemic, they were in shock. They had no idea I had been struggling with chronic illness. I hid it well. So the fact that I’m writing this column about my health is a huge deal for me. 

I thought people would think of me as weak or unwell, so I battled in silence…

It’s up to each individual to decide for themselves how much or to whom they want to disclose their medical issues. Because of people like Carolyn and my critique group, I finally feel free to tell my whole story, including the part about battling autoimmune diseases. In truth, it’s a very big part of my life, but I refuse to let it be the headline.

And I’m so glad you took the time to share your story with us today! I hope it encourages others to be brave enough to break their silence and be honest with others about their journey. Thank you Becky! 

---