There’s always someone out there who will tell you not to follow your dreams. How do you handle that? Do you let it defeat you? Or do you turn it into energy that propels you forward? Sometimes, other people’s words become our own. They can haunt us or give us the incentive to keep trying. The choice is ours.
Let me tell you a story …
I was bitten by the writing bug when I was in elementary school. The assignment: write an essay on your favorite dessert. I wrote about chocolate chip cookies. Not very original, I know. I described about how the chocolate melted in my mouth after my mom pulled a dozen out of the oven and how I loved the crisp crunch of a cold cookie that my grandmother always kept in the refrigerator. What can I say? I loved chocolate chip cookies (and still do!).
Evidently, my teacher did thought I did a good job—she read my essay in front of the whole class! As the shyest kid in the class, I was mortified. But something in me soared. Someone loved something I wrote. I was hooked.
Fast forward a few years. I was a senior in high school in a meeting with my AP English teacher, who was assigned to counsel me on the choices available to me in college. When I told her that I had decided to follow my dream of being a writer, she looked mom straight in the eye and without even a blink, she told me, “You have no business being a writer.”
“You have no business being a writer.”
Truth be told, even though I had always made good grades in English up until that year, I had struggled in her class. Nothing I wrote was good enough. Still, I was devastated. I had no reason not to believe her. I changed my major and proceeded to begin college. Writing was just a fleeting dream, something not realistic or achievable.
Thankfully the story doesn’t end there. A third teacher stepped in and redirected my path. My English Composition teacher my freshman year took an interest in my writing. When she asked why I wasn’t enrolled in the school’s English Writing program, I told her. She was livid and walked with me to the registrar’s office after class where I changed my major. I did. Sadly, she passed away before I could tell her the rest of the story.
Teachers have a profound impact on us. While I can clearly thank my elementary and college teacher for the impact they had on my direction to become a writer, the negative push from my high school had an equally important role. Whether she realized it or not, her words ultimately pushed me the hardest. I wanted to prove to her and everyone else—including myself—that I could do the impossible!
’m not advocating that negativity like this as an appropriate approach—especially today. It shouldn’t have been said, but it was. As a compliant student, I didn’t think to fight back at the time. But as I grew into a more self-advocating adult, her words stuck with me and turned into a force that pushed me forward. I had something to prove, and I wasn’t about to back down.
This month, I will have five books (two trade books and three educational books) out in the world!
As I have faced various health issues throughout my adult life, I often hear similar negative statements (sometimes, I’ve even said them myself. You shouldn’t go to that conference or on that school visit. What if the lights trigger a seizure? What if I can’t make it back home before dark? What if my voice tremor flares up during a presentation? Maybe I shouldn’t speak at all?
Yes, I’ve canceled conferences because I was afraid or because conditions weren’t healthy for me. I have to make those decisions on a case-by-case basis. But I can’t let them stop me from pursuing my dream. I do my self to plan for those moments and then move forward. But you know what? Even when something unexpected happens when I am traveling, there’s always someone there to lend a helping hand.
I have to make those decisions on a case-by-case basis. But I can’t let them stop me from pursuing my dream.
How do you handle negative words from yourself or from others? Do you let them defeat you? Or do you turn them into energy that will propel you forward? There’s no right on wrong answer. Most journeys are full of both choices. That’s how we explore life. That’s how we learn. That’s how we move forward and make a difference.
Have I told myself, “You have no business being a writer”? Yes, I have. There are times I let imposter syndrome creep in and those exact words pound in my brain every time. But I don’t stay there. I remind myself, “I am a writer.” Sometimes over and over (and over) again. Then I force it aside and continue to work at it.
I hope you will continue to chase your dreams—no matter what!
Be sure to check out the links below for information about my next book, M IS FOR MASON JAR.
CAROLYN BENNETT FRAISER is the author of several educational books for children including MOON TREE (2022), M IS FOR MASON JAR (2025), and FIRE SEEDS (coming in 2028). Connect with her on social media @CarolynBFraiser or visit her website at CarolynBFraiser.com.
ABOUT THE BOOK: Children are an essential part of any homestead. From canning creamed corn and cucumbers to scattering seeds in the soil, explore a fun modern-day homesteading activity for every letter of the alphabet, just for young homesteaders. With alliterative text, M Is for Mason Jar is a mix of nostalgia and modernism. Whether in the country or the city, the time-honored practices of the homestead will encourage kids to be more self-reliant and to be thankful for the bounty of the earth and the work of their hands. Includes one page of backmatter to help kids get involved in homesteading activities.
PRE-ORDER M IS FOR MASON JAR (releasing August 12th) through your local independent bookstore. Or, support my local bookstore, Highland Books (of an autographed copy, write SIGNED COPY in the comment field on your pre-order).
CAROLYN BENNETT FRAISER 