Finding Energy for Creativity

I’m so excited to feature guest Michelle Nott on the blog today. I met Michelle through the SCBWI Carolinas. I’m thrilled to have her stop by today to share a little bit about her journey and writing process. This was exactly what I needed to hear today. 

I learn so much from their stories that my guests share and this one was no different. I often waste so much time and energy trying to push through the creative process (and getting very little results). Instead, listening to what our bodies really need at the moment could possible be the very thing that fuels our creativity. I hope this encourages you as much as it did me. 

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In 2018, I thought I’d broken my finger. Nothing had happened to it. Regardless, I couldn’t type or hold a pencil without excruciating pain. After x-rays, blood tests, weekly consultations, my doctor informed me I had Sjogren’s Disease. Not a broken finger. What? Why? How? Any answers spun into more questions.

Among the many factors that play into developing an autoimmune disease, taking on too much, too often, and for too long has its consequences. Exhaustion (physical and mental) is not the only reason I may have developed Sjogren’s Disease. But to keep pain (arthritis, muscle cramps, migraines…) to a minimum, it is a big factor I need to consider and try to avoid every day.

I’ve had to learn to lean in, rather than push through.

I’ve had to learn to lean in, rather than push through. By this, I mean to pay attention to what hurts and why. Brain fog — Was I on my computer too late? Painful muscles — Did I skip too many yoga sessions? Arthritic flare-up — What emotional stress occurred?

After the “what” and the “why,” I’ve come to understand, to a certain extent, the “how” to feel better. Most of the time it’s a manageable solution — close my computer earlier, exercise, meditate. There are times, however, that need more investigation, like different medications, vitamins, dietary changes, rest instead of exercise, and/or working through negative interior dialogue.

Even when I feel in control of most symptoms, I can’t rule out new ones. The trial-and-error wheel starts anew. Frustration kicks in. Time and creativity head out. If only I had a royalty payment for each time I lamented, “I just want to write!”

What’s ironic is that creativity can also alleviate the frustration. Daydreaming. Brainstorming. Imagining. It can all relax tension too, and I can do it lying down or in a waiting room. Eventually, I jot down ideas, type out a few sentences, see the word count grow on the bottom of the screen. Any degree of progress helps me feel stronger.

Whether I draft a poem, revise a picture book manuscript, or take a two-hour nap, doing something for my mind, body, and spirit encourages me. Energy resurfaces. Inflammation eases. My mind clears.

Doing something for my mind, body, and spirit encourages me. Energy resurfaces. Inflammation eases. My mind clears.

Yet despite great efforts, some days are out of control, exhausting, discouraging, when I must push through. Life happens. Deadlines exist. But the more days I can prioritize my health, the more resilience I’ll have on the days I can’t.

And so each morning, I pay attention. I recognize and am grateful for what does feel good, accept what doesn’t and consider why, and then plan my day accordingly.

Most importantly, I no longer blame and shame my body for having Sjogren’s. Every cell and organ are doing their best to keep me going. I am doing my best. You are doing your best. And “best” doesn’t look the same for every person, nor the same on every day.

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Photo credits: Jeremy Bishop and Na Inho on Unsplash