Surviving the Holidays

This blog post almost didn’t get written. After Thanksgiving, my husband and I took a brief, but much-needed vacation—only to return in the midst of the December holiday-rush. Work deadlines, holiday parties, and Christmas planning were all crammed into a few short weeks. 

Then I realized … I needed to write this post for me (if not for anyone else). But just in case any of you are LIKE me, just know one thing—you are not alone. 

As a child, I loved Christmas. It was magical—the fun decorations, the festive music, and, most of all, the twinkling lights. What’s not to love about Christmas? How about … the traffic around the shopping malls, an over-crammed schedule, and the constant feeling of having to hurry simply to get “all the things” done before the holidays. And if you are already running low on energy, just thinking about the holidays is exhausting. 

As an adult, I’ve struggled with Christmas—not just because of increasing fatigue. As someone who has light-sensitive epilepsy, I can no longer go out at night between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. For me, the magical “twinkling” lights become strobe lights that can trigger a seizure. And even during the daylight, the lights and decorations in the stores are over-stimulating. 

But even if I hibernate during the month of December, the stress during the weeks leading up to Christmas is overwhelming. 

I want to find all the perfect gifts. 
I want to attend all the parties and get-togethers. 
I want to go all out and decorate. 

But instead, at the end of the day, I collapse—too exhausted to do any of it. Can anyone relate? Then someone told me: “Just make sure you make time to take care of yourself.” Take care of myself? Are you kidding me? It’s the holidays. I don’t have time for self-care. 

Self-care is most important when life is hectic.

But the thing is … self-care is most important when lift is hectic. 

We need more energy. 
We need more time to re-change. 
We need more rest.

I can already hear your argument (because it’s the same as mine) … But, I have no time! No, there isn’t time. But we also can’t do more than our bodies will allow us to. Here’s some things I am learning to do (and no, I haven’t completely learned them yet): 

Take Time to Rest.

A friend of mine from a different country has a saying that I’ve grown to love. She would always tell me, “Take some rest.” At first I thought it was cultural misinterpretation that somehow got twisted in translation, but the more I thought about it, the more I prefer this interpretation over “get some rest.” Getting is passive. We tend to wait until we have time and then squeeze it in if we can. But taking is more aggressive. It is intentional. We must intentionally take time to rest. It’s not optional. If we don’t, we risk exhaustion or even worse. 

Don’t Try to Do It All

Most of holiday stress comes from expectations—ones we have of ourselves or ones we allow other people to place on us. I’m guilty of trying to meet all the expectations (one I have for myself as well as the expectations of others). Sometimes, this is just not feasible. Meeting expectations is not worth the risk of our health. 

So what do we really need to do? Not want to do—need to do. Make a list if you have to and evaluate each bullet point. Is it necessary? Will it matter if one thing (or more) gets crossed off that list? The world won’t stop turning if I don’t have to go to every party or if I don’t put up all the decorations. What will take some of the pressure off and allow you to enjoy the holidays a little bit more?

Do Something You Simply Enjoy

Think about a few things that bring you joy during the holidays and take time off to enjoy them—without pressure. Go to see a holiday movie. Take a drive to see the lights (unless you are light-sensitive like me!). Window shop without feeling like you need to buy anything. Do something JUST FOR YOU! 

Take time off to do a few things that bring you joy during the holidays—without pressure.

Today, my husband and I made a hard decision to not do a few of our Christmas traditions. We enjoy them, but they were causing undue pressure that we didn’t need at the moment. I have a looming book deadline (right after Christmas) and he hasn’t been feeling well. Does it feel right? Not exactly. But we both felt less pressure to make it “all” happen. 

Instead, we are simply going to focus on what we can (and have time to) do without killing ourselves or our bodies over it. Who knows? Maybe we’ll come up with some new traditions to make Christmas and the holiday season a little more enjoyable. 

I hope you will do the same. Merry Christmas!

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